Queen of the Realm

What does it mean to be sovereign?  The "sovereign" in old europe was the king or queen of the realm.  Guess what?  I am the sovereign, the queen, of my life.  I like that word better than "single mother", which conjures up pictures of a broken down, put-upon, victim.

The word sovereign is powerful.  It implies a life in which we are in charge, successfully managing our world with dignity, and yes, may I say, majesty.  Woot woot!  Much better. It even includes the possibility of a partner, but without losing one's power..

Who knew I would be embracing this sovereign woman life 5 years ago?  

When I was married with 2 incomes, living in a 4 bedroom house on 8 acres with a gorgeous home studio, I thought I was the queen.  I thought I had it made.  I did create some beautiful things:  my 2 incredible children, and a thriving personal growth business. Those things were good.  I was becoming a leader, learning to support others, and make a good income.

But under the surface, and all my physical things, I was also suffering.  I was married to a narcissist who had to look good at all costs~now I see I attracted him because I was a narcissist too, highly invested in appearances and looking good.  I had my own dependency and debt issues I was dealing with, and was afraid to leave him, lest I lose all my golden treasures.  I put up with verbal abuse because I didn't want to take on more responsibility.  

I didn't want to change.
 
Ultimately, though, my inner desire for growth won out.  Through the help of a powerful sovereign woman: my coach, and my spiritual community, I finally got the courage to get a divorce, move to a new town, and start from scratch as a working single mom.   I did lose many of my golden treasures, as I fumbled my way along learning how to do the single mom thing.   I spent more money than was wise for my situation.  I often felt bereft, lost and alone.

And then I found the most golden treasure of all:  my sovereignty.

I discovered I could live, and thrive, on my own.  I found a way to say "no" to emotional spending, and spending money just to "look good".  I found new friends who valued spiritual and emotional health as much as physical things.  Now, besides God of course, I am in charge of this earthly realm.  I pay the bills, I manage the household.  I only allow positive people in my home.  I do work I enjoy, and my kids are happy.  I love living in an apartment because it is so easy to take care of, and the return on investment is very high!  My net worth is increasing by leaps and bounds so we will buy a home again...on my terms.

If you are a single parent, I congratulate you!  Your sovereign status reigns. And if you are partnered, I invite you to consider a sovereign life, where you are a skillful manager of what is required.  Don't stay with your partner because you fear making it on your own, or you fear losing your creature comforts..  Stay with them out of the pure joy of being together!

​This is just the beginning.....watch and wait, see what we create.

Kathy Kali is a sovereign woman, small business owner and mom of 2.  
​She has a one-eared cat, loves to dance, and is dating the guy who lives next door.