"I accept the reality of this situation, but not its permanence." ~Toni Stone
Last week I hit a wall.
For the first part of the Coronovirus Pandemic I had been relatively happy, considering everything.. I had been in awe at the shitshow of world events, but personally not too affected.
The first month I realized the privileged position I was in, to have savings/investments and reliable income. So I freed up some time to help start a homeless advocacy group. I gave away 20 free coaching sessions to entrepreneurs who were struggling.
And I was happy to do it! Giving away time, talents & treasures is part of my ongoing philosophy.
The second month the fact that my husband was not able to work started to take its toll. I still had income and thankfully our savings and investments keep us secure, and we always give 10% of our monthly income away. That hasn't ever stopped.
But nonetheless I started to feel the strain, and total exhaustion from actively "doing" 24-7.
There began to be some drama at my property management job, and cooped up family members started to get on each other's nerves. My work situation continued to deteriorate, as more and more people kept asking me for free information, advice, and help, and I was working around the clock as the primary breadwinner.
I began thinking, this is just a taste of the stress that the average American feels right now. Unemployment is at 25%. Most small business owners have been hit hard. I was insulated from it in the beginning, but I started to feel it.
I felt a loss of purpose, and depression started to creep in. I wondered, "who am I? what am I doing here?" I wondered how many people are asking themselves these questions, especially if they are out of work or their business has been shut down.
I started to feel pretty sad and depressed.
Until I realized the wall wasn't going to disappear.
It was simply there.
What I was doing was not working.
I saw that all my "doing"~giving, serving, acting, organizing, was not getting me happiness or easing my stress.
Something had to give!
I realized I hadn't budgeted in a few weeks. Budgeting is always a grounding activity for me. Back to basics.
(If you want to know how to budget like a single mom, see my previous blog post, PILE UP CASH! OR, If I Could Save $40,000 as a Single Mom, You Can Survive the Coronovirus!)
And as I balanced our budget, I felt lighter and more empowered. "This is like a game!" I thought. Let's see if we can make this puzzle work, make this budget balance.
Once I did the budget I felt freer, and more creative. I started to dive deeper into writing my book, a creative project I had been working on for a few months. I reached out to friends who could help me with it.
I started leaning into more self-care: taking walks, getting chiropractic care, spending quality time with my husband. We started a vegetable garden.
I began to let go.... of the work drama and some coparenting issues I could not control. I began to let go of my desire to have things go back to normal immediately.
In my business I set some boundaries with my clients on how many "freebies" I could give. I offered some affordable ways people can participate with me so that my time is honored.
I feel better now. More in control, but not in control, at the same time.
It helped to admit there was a wall.
Just as there is for many of us~the wall made up of external limitations due to the Coronovirus that are out of our control. The wall of job changes and economic challenge. The wall of physical distance and separation. The wall of stress and strain.
May we all find a way to deal with "the wall" in the way that works for each of us.
For me it has been the Universe's way of telling me "NO."
No to the busy-ness.
No to extraneous "doing".
No to too much giving.
No to trying to fix things that are out of my control.
I am reminded of the serenity prayer used often in recovery work. It seems appropriate for this Coronovirus time:
"God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."
It is March 2020, and we are in the middle of the Coronovirus outbreak. State and federal governments have shut down restaurants, gatherings over 10 people, and discouraged travel. People are “social distancing” to reduce the spread of the virus until hospitals can accommodate the sick that they anticipate will flood in.
The problem is: it is rocking the economy. The stock market is down 29%, worse than the busts of 1987 and 2008. Many of my friends and colleagues who are small business owners have lost half, if not all their income due to social distancing requirements. Folks are struggling to make ends meet. And sadly, 75% of Americans have less than $1000 saved.
Panic and fear have been rampant, with people buying up all the toilet paper in stores, and fighting each other for hand sanitizer online. Not having enough puts us into the fight-or-flight response.
Our hearts race. We feel dizzy and panicked. We watch the unpaid bills pile up with dread.
In times like these, do you see why savings is essential?
Savings allows you to keep a mortgage/rent payment, keep buying healthy food, keep stability for your family despite economic fluctuations. Savings helps your peace of mind
I used to have ZERO savings. For years I thought if I just “was positive” then emergencies would not happen to me. When shit hit the fan, and I needed a big car repair, or had a large business expense, I would just hustle and scramble and get the money together somehow.
This was empowering on one level~yes, the universe ultimately always helped me win. But was I helping the universe, or making it harder on myself? I was always stressed out.
I chased my tail for years, working my butt off in order to clean up the messes I left in my wake. “I owe, I owe, so off to work I go”.
With no savings and no plan for my spending, I just kept accumulating debt.
I would pay it all of, only to have it grow back.
Finally I started to slowly see that dips in the economy, or in one’s personal life, are not just theory, they happen. Statistics show that each of us will have at least 1 major negative financial event(divorce, death in the family, car replacement, health challenge, job lay-off) every 10 years.
I myself went through a divorce and became a single mother.
And the pain and stress of this was too much.
I finally got off the roller coaster.
Even though I was only bringing in $1500 a month, I knew things had to change.
I was DONE with the stress and said "NO MORE!"
So, even though I had a low income.
Even though I was scared.
I rolled up my sleeves, and attacked my expenses, grew my income with hustle, heart & grit, and turned my situation around.
I paid off the debt, and built a fully-funded emergency fund. I had raised my net worth by $40,000.
And my life was forever changed!
I was able to go on to join forces with my new husband, save an extra $150,000 together, purchase a home, and start investing.
But the transformation started when I was a low-income single parent.
Now you may be thinking, this is great, but how do I begin to save if I am in crisis?
You do it like a single mom with a low income.
You start small.
You stop being a victim, and blaming others.
You take responsibility.
And build from there.
THE SAVINGS STEPS
1. STABILIZE YOUR HOUSEHOLD
If you are low-income, or in crisis, I recommend you start with the 4 Walls. Start with taking care of your castle first. Then you can start giving and saving. The 4 Walls are: food, shelter, transportation and utilities. Place all debt payments on hold if you need to as well.
Talk to your landlord/mortgage company if you need to defer payments. Most reasonable people will work with you. Go to the food bank if needed. See if you can carpool or reduce your transportation costs. Talk to your utility company so you can keep the lights & water on.
Once your household is stable, then you can fight your way through another day.
2. $1000 FIRST
After your household is secure, the first saving step is to accumulate $1000. This “baby” emergency fund will help you deal with small emergencies and keep them from destroying you. Sell stuff online, take on a side hustle, cut out all unnecessary bills, etc. (More hustle ideas in the "how to" section below).
If you are an entrepreneur, manually transfer money from checking into savings at the end of each month. If you have a regular job, you can have your savings automatically deducted from your checking account and transferred into savings.
3. DEALING WITH DEBT
After you have your $1000 I normally recommend you eliminate debt entirely. Shift your savings each month to paying off all consumer debt: credit cards, student loans, personal loans, car loans. If your income is stable during this crisis, you can continue to do debt elimination.
However, if your income is unstable during an emergency such as the Coronovirus epidemic, pause the debt snowball. Pay your minimums if you can. PILE UP CASH! Then, once the emergency has passed, you can go back to paying off your debt.
3. FULLY-FUNDED EMERGENCY FUND
The next step is to accumulate 3-6 months of expenses in savings. This bigger cushion will be the biggest gift you can give yourself. Believe me! Once I had this fund, as a single mom, I relaxed in a place I didn’t even know I was tense! I finally felt peace of mind.
My clients report that they have fewer “emergencies” once they have built the emergency fund. Rather than being a negative attractor of danger, the fund seems to repel problems. And when problems arise, they can be handled with a lot less drama.
"HOW TO" SAVE WHEN TIMES ARE TIGHT
So how do you build savings when your income is down? For those who are in economic hardship, the thought of trying to save money is hard, but not impossible.
REMEMBER I raised my net worth by $40,000 as a single mom bringing in $1500 a month!!
Savings in a crisis does take focus, and dedication.
You need the 3 Big Money Tools: Acting Your Wage, Being Willing to Work, and Using a Budget.
A. Act Your Wage.
This was the most important step for me as a working single mother AND as someone knee-deep in debt. I had to let go of “keeping up with the Joneses” and cut my lifestyle drastically to turn things around.
Acting your wage means not pretending to be wealthy, when you are actually in debt or have minimal savings. This time I was willing to not look good for a while, in order to get my financial house in order. I rented out a room, stopped ordering takeout, looked for sales, and started using coupons. I said, “no” to my kids a lot, and made them earn their own spending money.
Anyone can do this. I got food stamps and state sponsored healthcare. Remember this is a temporary sacrifice, for a lifetime of financial security.
Where could you cut the fat out of your lifestyle, in order to free up cash for saving?
B. Be Willing To Work.
The second thing I recommend is to be willing to do whatever it takes to generate the cash flow needed to progress along the Baby Steps. I recommend dropping the “poor me” attitude, and just getting down to work. Can you take on a delivery job? Work at a grocery store? There are jobs available if you are willing to hustle.
As a single mom I took on a side job at a housewares store, made calls to get extra music gigs, and networked to keep my coaching business strong. I sold stuff around the house. I applied for grants for my business. If I can do it, you can do it.
Also there is no shame in looking for free money, discounts, and grants such as Dreamsavers. There are many free resources out there, from free food at the food bank to business grants.
Stop the whining! Your work ethic and willingness to do whatever it takes are an essential part of your success. Even if you deliver pizzas, you can make an extra $1500 a month! Having more cash to build savings helps keep the ball rolling!
What can you do to bring in extra money right now?
C. Do a Monthly Budget.
The third thing I recommend is to have a monthly written plan for your money, aka: a budget. The cash flow planning form on www.daveramsey.com is great, as is Dave Ramsey’s free budgeting software www.everydollar.com. I have used both.
Having a written plan means you are conscious of where your money is going each month, and you give every dollar an assignment. This also helps you have margin to save, and shows which categories in your budget are out of balance. I talk to a lot of people, for example, whose housing costs are 50-70% of their income. And they wonder why they can’t get ahead!!
The ideal percentage for housing is 25% of your take home pay, leaving enough for debt repayment, saving, and living a good life. When you see how you are giving, saving, and spending, you begin to feel more in control. A budget is empowering!
How soon could you start or upgrade your budget?
So what are you waiting for?
Start piling up cash! It is possible, even in a crisis.
You will get through this. And hopefully this will be the time you say "never again" to being in debt with no savings.
But for now, keep your attitude positive and keep looking for the silver lining. Stay in touch with those who cheer you on and want you to succeed. And let me know when you have your $1000 emergency fund complete!
Bye bye fight or flight!
We just bought our 3rd mobile home to flip. It was so ridiculously easy, I couldn't believe it.
I had been talking with the owner for a few months, and she had it listed for $19,000. She was very motivated to sell, and we negotiated buying it for $8000 cash.
We will be able to do some repairs and resell it for $25,000-$35,000. Woo hoo! After realtor fees and capital gains tax, we will make $10-$15,000 profit.
And voila, there is an affordable home for someone.
We love using 100% cash for these side projects, and seeing that cash grow.
It's called building wealth organically.
We started small, buying our first mobile for cash and then rolling the profit from the sale into our savings and then the next mobile, and then the next.
Using cash to grow cash is very liberating!
For years I was in the debt cycle. I would accrue large amounts of consumer debt that would outweigh the value of my assets, then pay it all off, only to watch it all grow back!
7 years ago when I lost my clients due to a move to a new town, I felt the pain of debt. Even though I had experienced a downturn, my high consumer debt payments kept marching along.
Until I paid them off, I was not able to get ahead.
My mistakes back then:
*Relying on debt to fund lifestyle & my business rather than real cash.
*Overspending each month because I had no plan.
*Not saving at all for emergencies or investments because debt payments ate up all my income
*Constantly chasing my tail to make money just to make the debt payments
When the cycle became too painful, I finally woke up.
I decided "NO MORE!"
And then I learned practical tools to build wealth organically, and started using them with myself and my clients:
To Grow Wealth Organically:
*Completely eliminate consumer debt!
*Use a written plan for your money each month
*Live on less than you make
*Work on upping income
*Save a percentage of your money each month
*Invest, and watch your money make more money!
I paid off $40,000 in debt, saved a fully-funded emergency fund, and saved another $100,000 in 3 years. We bought a home, and then started piling up cash for investing.
The power of cash is amazing! Do you know when you pay cash, you are secure? If the economy tanks, or the real estate market goes sour, or you lose your job, you actually have real assets!
Investing in a home and/or rental properties is the only kind of debt I recommend, because with those you have a real asset.
Just don't do it until you are out of consumer debt and have an emergency fund!(I've seen too many people buy a house without savings and have thousands of dollars in unexpected repairs!)
We know our investments will just keep growing and growing, as we leverage our cash to build wealth.
Whether you invest in the stock market, a business, or real estate, cash helps you grow wealth without risk.
And who knows....
Maybe you will become a mobile home mogul too?
Kathy Kali is a Certified Financial Coach and Business Advisor. She specializes in helping entrepreneurs and working families to build wealth using practical steps. Kathy has a passion to help heart-centered entrepreneurs(healers, coaches, teachers & leaders) build wealth so they can change the world!
For more FREE wealth tips for Conscious Business Owners including "Money Mondays" trainings feel free to join our Wealthypreneurs Changing the World facebook group.
Do you know that it takes the average person seeing you 7 times to sign up as your client? I run a trade show for health & wellness practitioners, and find that sometimes people think one form of networking is enough to fill their books with clients. Not so.
So I figured some basic networking review can't hurt. The standard phrase is people need to "know, like & trust" you before they will buy from you. Trade shows work great only when they are 1 of the 7 ways you network your biz!
Here are my free/low-cost tips on WHERE to network(compared to "high-cost", such as print advertising, which tends to run $1000 and up):
This is the strategy I used that helped me have a $1800 day at my coaching booth at the last Conscious Living Fair! ***FYI the folks who signed up had seen me multiple times in the community, and my Fair booth was just the clincher.
1. Make a GREAT BOOTH at a trade show, with lots of color & products/services and clear signage so folks know exactly what you are offering!
2. SHARE A BLOG or WRITE AN ARTICLE for an online or local publication that features your wisdom & expertise!
3. Share FREE PRODUCTS & SERVICES with your email list/social media as a way to generate goodwill.
4. Give FREE/LOW-COST TALKS locally such as at the public library, or online via facebook live or Zoom, this builds your credibility.
5. Join a LOCAL NETWORKING GROUP such as the Chamber of Commerce, Women Entrepreneurs, or Business Networking International.
6. POST FLYERS on community bulletin boards about your offerings. Be sure and include a call to action, such as a date-specific special or discount, or a class with a particular start date.
7. NETWORK AT SOCIAL GROUPS such as parties, gatherings, or even your local church or synagogue.
IF YOU DO 7 THINGS TO NETWORK, I PROMISE YOU, THE CLIENTS WILL COME!
Some final thoughts on HOW to do networking....
*Have fun networking your way. Only do networking that is enjoyable for you! Some introverts may find smaller groups or 1-on-1 more appealing, for example, than large group events. Some of you may love online networking, some of you may prefer in-person connections.
*Don't overspend on networking. Make sure you follow the 70/30 rule for your business, and keep operating costs(including networking!) to 30% of your gross income, or pay for networking out of savings. This is important so you have margin to run your business AND have a decent lifestyle/be able to build wealth. As you build your cash flow & net worth, you will be able to afford higher cost opportunities.
*Give it time. Gardens do not grow overnight. Your business is a garden. But if you plant seeds of connection, and water them consistently, over time they will become a harvest. It took me a year of being involved in 1 particular networking group for folks to "know, like & trust" me, and then business started pouring in.
Have you helped people make big changes?
Are you someone people go to for help and inspiration?
Do you make good money for your services?
I used to be someone who charged "by the hour", until I had a track record of big results. It became really clear to me that I was under-charging, based on the results I helped people get. Then I changed my pricing to reflect more of my work's true value, which is the RESULT.
I started small, which was good for a beginner.
14 years ago my coaching business started as something I did for anyone and everyone who would work with me. I was grateful to get clients for $50-$75/session, and I worked long and hard for many years to walk with people and their goals. I helped people of all walks of life grow their positive mindset, learn to be grateful & generous, and to set and achieve goals. I helped small business owners grow their income streams, pay off debt, save and invest.
This was perfectly natural for someone starting out. I needed experience, and was willing to work. My classes were very affordable for the average working person($50/month), and were a very small percentage of the results I got for them, 1%-3%, in fact.
The average client in my classes paid off debt/saved $5000 in 3 months! And the average small business owner in my classes had a $10,000 result in 3 months!
Tracking these results helped me have more confidence, as I realized that FACTS don't lie. People were becoming wealthy under my guidance. And I was happy to help them succeed!
While this was good for a while, eventually I outgrew this model. I personally use a "tithing" model in which I give back 10% of my results to the places that have helped and inspired me to get big results in my life. Only 1 of these people whom I had helped build wealth gave back to me in any way. And of course it would be unethical for me to demand that gift. I was just shocked that none of them were grateful enough for their results to give back.
This "under-valuing" came to a head for me with the following:
*A couple who already had $100,000 in investments upped their net worth by $100,000 working with me and gave me $200.
*A woman wanted to get free coaching and was not willing to pay even a small fee, after she had just bought a brand new car!
*A client making $100,000 year paid off $10,000 in debt within 1 month of working with me, and wanted to pay me less than 0.3% of those results, $27 to be exact.
*An entrepreneur wanted free advice on a regular basis, but was not willing to pay for a class, even though they had invested thousands of dollars in another personal growth project.
What a wake-up call!
And I realized...none of this was anyone else's fault. It was my own need to value myself and my results more highly! The "proving myself" period of a decade of coaching & teaching was important for my growth, and for me to see how I could truly help others. Now it was time for a new phase.
I began to seek out new mentors, people who charged rates based on results. I calculated the "tithe" amount for the average result I got for people: 10 % of $5000-$10,000 more in the bank in 3 months would equal $500-$1000 in 3 months. I began to see how I could shift my pricing to reflect more of my true value.
And new clients who valued RESULTS started showing up!
I enrolled high-level clients in classes & private sessions. Because I value my time so highly, I now reserve private client work for the highest paid clients. My programs are chock-full of content and support, but in a group teaching context.
I lost a few people. And that is fine! The people who want everything for free, or who undervalue me, are not my ideal client anymore.
My current clients now really value my time and expertise. They tend to also be more personally motivated, and to be working diligently on the materials I provide.
I still do some "charity" work as part of my own giving practice. I recently gave away 10 sessions to local people in need, and that felt great! I give away plenty of free content in this blog, and in my Wealthypreneurs facebook group, with 100% free information, resources & "Money Monday" video channel.
But I don't give away everything.
If people really want to work with me, they are willing to pay for it. And my fees are still under 10% of the results they get. If folks can't afford to pay 10% of what they want to get, then they are not my ideal client.
What kind of results do YOU help people get?
Are your rates high enough?
What could you charge that would work for your clients AND help you feel more valued and respected?
Good luck with value-based pricing, and feel free to comment with any thoughts or questions below!
It's true. I used to be a trophy wife.
I may not have looked like the picture above, with all of modern culture's trappings of wealth, but I had the trendy version: ugg boots, fancy custom home studio with persian rug and plush furnishings, personal growth seminars in resort locations with lots of deep processing about our emotional problems. I invested a lot in "looking good", which included spending lots of money in my business, even if that meant going into debt.
Because I was a trophy wife I didn't HAVE to make money in my business. I wanted to for my own fulfillment, so yes, I did learn to have a decent work ethic and to make a lot of money. But I gave and spent most of it, because I didn't really NEED the money to make a living. My 1st husband and his millionaire family would always send extra cash our way. And I was happy to have my clients pay me with their credit cards, to fuel my out-of-control lifestyle and a business that was also in debt.
Fast forward to 8 years ago: I became a single mother.
That year I made $100,000 but because of my out of control debt load and runaway spending, I could not afford to buy a house for myself and my children in our new town. That was the low point for me, but also one of the best points in my life~when I got real about money. I learned debt can really destabilize working families. When the economy fluctuates, or personal changes & challenges arise, debt keeps marching along, and can be a huge burden.
I learned money is not just for making, it is also for wise giving, saving and spending. Money can be used to feed children, purchase homes, support charities, fund businesses and assets, and build a legacy. With the help of my new fiancee(now husband), working 3 healing businesses, I upped my net worth by $150,000 in 4 years. We purchased a home, and give 10% of our income each month to charities and put 30-50% of our income into investments.
I now feel passionate about helping people build wealth FROM THE GROUND UP!
It may work for someone with a trust fund to take on debt, knowing their half-million dollar home or their investments are ample collateral. For someone like that, big lifestyle is a pleasant perk. More power to them! But debt and big lifestyle are actually DANGEROUS for someone who is just starting to grow their wealth, or is in the middle stages. Debt eats up cash flow, masks your profit, and decreases your net worth. Plus it puts your family at risk of losing what you do have.
Luckily ANYONE can build debt-free wealth if they focus on it
and take these practical steps:
1. Avoid debt like the plague. Pay cash for EVERYTHING! This keeps you honest, and out of the "impressing other people" trap. If your clients don't love you for your primary product or service, all the extra bells and whistles in the world won't convince them anyway. Let them love you for you!
2. Control your spending. Have a way to track your business and household finances, so you can consciously send your dollars where you want them to go. This gives you plenty of "margin" or money leftover. I recommend the 70/30 rule: only spend 30% on business operating expenses, including coaching & training, and only spend 30% on housing. Even if you live in an expensive area, like I do, you don't get a pass on math. Rent out a room, or live in a cheaper area and commute. You can't afford to overspend on housing or it will eat up all your margin for getting ahead.
3. Give a percentage that is appropriate for your income. Giving does open up more good for you, by upping your "deservedness quotient". People who give seem to be more willing and able to receive. The traditional amount for most people is 10%. If you are giving more than that with a low net worth, you are "over-giving".
4. Save. Set aside a percentage of your income every month for developing 2 kinds of savings: "protective savings" such as an emergency fund for your household or retained earnings for your business, and "growth savings" such as investment accounts, properties, and other assets. Since you are controlling your spending this should be easy.
Even now I cringe when I see a trust funder encouraging their clients to go into debt for their products or services. Yes there is value in taking a risk for your business, But not a risk that puts YOU at risk. If you want to pay big money, I recommend you save up and pay cash for their program or service.
When you are thinking of investing with a financial advisor, think carefully.
Remember where your advice is coming from, and ask yourself: "How did my advisor build their wealth? Did they build it from scratch in my type of business? Or did they get an inheritance or backup from another source? What is their bias and their background?" How wonderful for them if they have a high net worth. You can be happy for them. But what is appropriate for them may not be wise and practical for you.
I recently researched a service provider who sells "wealthy lifestyle" coaching. They made it seem they built their wealthy lifestyle as a coach, and that it is possible for others to do so by simply "thinking positive". What I discovered is that this person built a million dollar net worth, and their own wealthy lifestyle, by working 25 years in the stock market! THEN they started charging top dollar as a lifestyle expert using the technique of positive affirmations, and "feeling" your way into wealth. No mention of the stocks or bonds, or the returns they continue to collect.
Needless to say, I passed on that opportunity.
I am proud that since my "low point" I have built my wealth from scratch in the healing arts & consulting, and can advise people who want to do the same. While I have been blessed to have a few windfalls here and there: a tax refund, a small gift from family, etc. most of the income has been under mine and my husband's own steam. We are regular working people.
And so I always have my clients pay cash.
I know what it's like to grow from scratch, and how you have to keep your margin high.
And if they can't afford it....
Well, I give them free resources.
I'd rather do that than put them into debt.
Kathy Kali is a Certified Financial Coach and Business Advisor. Kathy specializes in helping entrepreneurs and working families to build wealth using practical steps. Kathy also founded the Conscious Living Fair, a trade show featuring holistic & healing businesses in Medford, Oregon and Eugene, Oregon.
For more FREE wealth tips for Conscious Business Owners including "Money Mondays" trainings feel free to join our Wealthypreneurs Changing the World facebook group.
Ever wish you could take a "mental health" day off from your business but can't afford it? Or need to take sick time off of work for yourself or your children and don't have any savings? And what about the millions of women in America who would like to slow down at "that time of the month"? How many of us have that freedom without jeopardizing our finances?
Well I believe entrepreneurship is the way of the future, because we can craft our own schedule based on our own needs. I now take a full week off of seeing clients and doing active work to nurture myself. I still send emails and work "on" my business, but I don't see clients and I don't work "in" my business. I sleep in, put my feet up, take naps.....and stay in my pjs if I want! I plan my whole month around this time which I have come to feel is sacred self-care.
But it didn't always used to be that way.
I used to power right through even though my body told me "no". I worked many days with clients when my body was aching and I was tired. I am thankful I learned mindfulness practices to help me tap into my body's wisdom. And I nurtured myself for short times: during a yoga class, or a massage, or a nap. But even though I could hear my body calling for deeper & longer rest, for many years, a full week off was not financially possible.
If you can relate to this, I want to share how I did this because I know there is a better way. A better way for women, and for the world! Can you imagine what the world will be like when all people are nurturing themselves? We'll have a happier and more productive workforce, for one thing! And I also believe the feminine values of listening, rest, compassion, and support for healing will come more fully into the marketplace.
Women's wisdom is valuable.
So what are the clues or keys to creating an entrepreneur lifestyle that works for you? The first step is knowing what you crave. Maybe you long for a 4-day work week. Or just 1 or 2 days grace period when you need it.... Or perhaps you want to take more extended time off? I know one powerful woman entrepreneur who takes one month off each year for self-care. She uses this time to travel, write a book, finish large home projects, etc.
A great way to know what you crave is to look at where and when you feel the most stressed, pissed off, and fed up!!! Women can look to their inner bitch for her wisdom here! No kidding! She knows what you need. As we know now, many symptoms of "pre-menstrual syndrome" are linked to real emotional and physical needs for nourishment. I personally believe this "syndrome" is a sign of the world not meeting the natural needs of women.
Stress shows you what you need.
But if we want our business to meet our needs we have to create it. Crafting a business in which you have control over your schedule is one key element. Take back control! You are the creator of your life! If you set up the client load you can start to arrange your schedule around your time off. You can begin to have rest during the times you feel most stressed or tired.
Raising your rates strategically over time can also reduce stress. I have always done this with my different healing businesses. As you research the market value of your service, and as you grow your clientele, you will be able to charge more. I find people value my services highly because I build good relationships with them and get them great results. This means you are trading fewer hours for dollars, and this gives you more time.
Financial stability gives you more choices.
If you are deeply in debt and have no savings, and are working hard to get more stable, you may or may not want to take more time off. But I would suggest really take a weekend. Give yourself a little pampering & care. At this stage I used to take 1 day off a month, my most tired day, and that helped me a lot.
As you become more financially stable it can be easier to take longer time off. Once we had emergency funds, home purchased, and our investments on track for wealth-building, I began to take 2 full days off for mental health. I was glad my money was making me money, even when I was not doing anything. So a few days off was not financially stressful.
Lately separating my time completely from my income has helped me to take that full week off. I began to use value-based pricing & packages in my work rather than just an hourly wage for a service. People are happy to pay for the results the package gives them without me always delivering them in person. In addition, hiring help and automating some of my services/products has helped. So during my week off income still comes in without me having to actively teach, speak, consult or perform.
A better world is...here!
So...can we see and feel a better world coming? Or perhaps we know it is already here...the time of feminine values. The time of self-care. The time of nurturing, and allowing our body wisdom to be honored.
It's up to us.
How will we create our businesses and our lives moving forward?
I hope my story is helpful, and wish you many blessings on your self-care!
Well, it's a new year. Again. Hopefully the haze from your holiday hangover has cleared, and you can start to take stock of things. Did you make more money last year? Did you give away more money last year? Did you save more money last year? Did you fulfill more of your life purpose last year? If you answered no to any of these questions, you've got some work to do on....MONEY.
As a creative person, I have always enjoyed "making things up"! I like variety, and the process of inventing something new. But with money I have learned, there are basic laws which are unchanging. In a way, knowing these structures is stabilizing for me as a creative entrepreneur. Before I knew and applied these laws, I was at sea with money, floating this way and that based on my creative whim.
Now that I know these laws, I apply them for my clients, and they provide security, and yes, WEALTH! In my own household we used these laws to up our net worth by $150,000 in 3 years. My clients use these laws to get rid of debt, give and save as regular habits, and build their nest egg. Are you ready to master the spiritual & practical laws of money?
Well, then let's dive in!
1. Make money.
The #1 law with money is that is okay to make some. One of my mentors Toni Stone always said, "Money will come when you are doing the right thing." And I have found this to be true. When I am following my heart and my purpose, the right jobs and chance to serve for me have materialized. And when I give and serve, money comes. And as I continue to ask "how can I serve better?" more money comes!
Some people have an aversion to making money, thinking it is not "spiritual". The path of an ascetic monk is a valid path, just not for everyone! Most of us are householders, raising children and doing work in our communities. For us money is a useful tool. We can be just as "spiritual" if we make money as if we don't. I have been a tither for 13 years, giving away 10% of my income. So I feel pretty dang spiritual, even as a prosperous money-maker.
Are you in action with your life purpose to serve others? Are you charging a good rate for your services or product? Some people believe they can pray money into existence. And yes, prayer and intention are useful. But you also need to be in ACTION. So if we need to work, and act, let's act for whatever brings us joy, and brings us the most income! And money comes as a result. And more money continues to flow, as we continue to serve in bigger and better ways.
Once we make money, then we can start to give.
2. Give money
The #2 law of money is that once we have an income, we have a responsibility to give. Giving, or tithing, a percentage of our money is an ancient practice invented by the Babylonians, then passed to the Hebrews, who then passed it to the Christians. To give is to affirm that "we have it to give", which affirms our own prosperity. When I started tithing I found my income grew steadily, because I was affirming the infinite flow each time I gave. I began to have a spiritual assurance of the flow of money.
And then giving also benefits and supports spiritual work and allows it to continue to help the world. Giving 10% is the traditional amount. And then you create your lifestyle from the 90% that is left over. "If you cannot live on 90% you are not a good money manager," says Dave Ramsey, another money mentor of mine. Using your monthly budget, or tracking system, allows you to give in balance with all your other needs.
Where should I give? Traditionally tithing was done to a temple, then a synagogue, then a church. In modern culture many people receive spiritual guidance from many sources. So tithing can be distributed to any place or places that inspire you spiritually: spiritual centers, temples/churches, counselors, coaches, artists that inspire, etc. Tithing is a personal decision and should never be coerced.
When we give, we have an assurance of prosperity.
3. Save money
The #3 law of money is to save some. Just like giving, saving is a spiritual practice and a practical habit. When we save some of our money, it creates reserves for security and for greater wealth-building. Just as the Babylonians and Hebrews saved grain for lean times, we can save for emergencies, large purchases, assets & investments which will produce income for our elder years.
Dave Ramsey recommends saving 15% of your gross income every month. Once again, use your monthly budget, or tracking system, to manage this. If you give 10% and save 15%, then you can live on 75%. This does mean that you have to have discipline and not allow your lifestyle to get out of control. Millionaires exercise this kind of self-control by eliminating debt and consistently saving money over many years, note Thomas J. Stanley & William D. Danko in The Millionaire Next Door.
Are you in debt? Debt is a sign you have not been saving, and you need to get rid of it first before you begin to save. Apply the 15% you would save, or more if you can, to getting rid of debt. Then when you are done with it(sometimes this takes a few years) start saving as you would normally. Over the course of a working lifetime most people can build a nest egg of 1 million dollars by saving 15%. If you are starting later in life, you will need to save a bigger percentage of your income.
When we save, we automatically build wealth.
4. Track money
Money loves to be paid attention to. It tends to grow in the presence of attention. When we do not pay attention to money, it disappears. How are you going to pay more attention to your money? One way millionaires grow their nest eggs is by using a monthly budget. This is a tracking system that is different every month based on your changing needs over time. You can use a paper budget or an online system, whichever you are more comfortable with.
Are you uncomfortable with budgeting? Another way to track your money with a budget is to get a money coach. Having accountability from a trained professional helps you to stay in touch with your numbers. A coach can help you meet your goals, whether that be starting a giving or saving practice, paying off debt, increasing income, or acquiring assets.
A final way to track your money is to be in a class where others are practicing tracking their money. The culture of a group can support you to learn the new habit of tracking, or budgeting. Be aware it takes 90 days to learn a new habit. So it is common when we work on our own to abandon budgeting after just one month. That is why my basic class, The Money Makeover, is a 3-month group. In this class, the average household pays off debt/saves an extra $5000!
When we track, we meet our money goals.
If you work on these 4 laws of money, I guarantee you will get results. My private clients and students have been building wealth with these principles since 2005. My hope is that you will start or deepen your own practice of these 4 laws. Good luck and let us know how things go with your wealth-building!
Kathy Kali, Coach, Speaker, Author & Teacher has been helping people make more money and build wealth with it for the last 13 years. Kathy holds degrees in Women's Studies, Certified Master Financial Coaching & New Thought Prosperity Teaching. Kathy’s mission is to help heart-centered professionals build wealth to fulfill their purpose.
When I was in my 20s I read a book called "How To Get What You Want in Life with the Money You Already Have." The author, Carol Keefe, inspired me to keep "dream jars" to save for particular goals. At the time I was a poor bookseller, and all my paycheck seemed to go to essentials: gas, food, car, rent. I despaired that I would ever be able to save for things that I enjoyed: musical instruments, travel, nice clothes. But I started a few jars, and lo and behold, the method worked! I saved for and bought a $1000 Martin guitar that I still use today 20 years later as a professional musician.
And 20 years later my financial knowledge has become much more sophisticated. I am a graduate of a 5 year Prosperity Teacher Training focused on prosperity character trait development. I have a Certification in the 7 Baby Steps of Wealth Building & Investing to help guide people out of debt and into a lifetime of financial security. For 13 years I have given generously to spiritual organizations and charities. My knowledge has grown about banking, saving, and various kinds of investing, including stock market products & real estate. Using the 7 Baby Steps our personal net worth grew by $150,000 in just 3 years.
However, when I think about it, it all comes down to GIVE, SAVE and SPEND. Any fancy financial system is simply a version of this basic balance. If you GIVE, you are a generous person and you develop a sense of humility and deservedness which attracts money to you. If you SAVE, you are wise, and your savings eliminates debt, grows your assets and creates security and peace of mind. And if you SPEND in balance with the other two, you enjoy your life without blowing it all on lifestyle. What a blessing!
So here I unpack the BIG THREE: Give, Save & Spend, and help you decide how you want to use this power trio for your financial health.
"No one ever became poor by giving." ~Mike Todd
What can you give now? We always have something to give. In fact, giving sends a message to our brain which says, "I have it to give." It reframes any scarce mindset into one of abundance. When I first started a giving practice, I gave small. But then I felt a sense of deservedness, and comfort with money. So more money came, and I was able to give bigger. It is an ever-expanding well of blessing.
Giving, or tithing, has been a longstanding practice for thousands of years among spiritual people, who understand its benefit psychologically. The Babylonians invented tithing, and taught it to the Hebrews, who very famously taught tithing as a spiritual practice in the Torah, or Old Testament. Many churches & spiritual centers carry on this tradition as a spiritual practice which benefits the giver as much as the receiver.
However, a few notes on true giving: it must be a freely given gift, not an obligation. It must be your choice, no one can tell you who to give to. And it must be to places that inspire and help you spiritually, as well as provide charitable help to the community. In the Jewish and Christian history of tithing the church or temple provided spiritual inspiration AND help to the poor. In our modern world the two have become separate. Often spiritual inspiration is found one place and charity is found another, and so we can give to both.
"A penny saved is a penny earned." ~Benjamin Franklin
As I've gotten older, and have seen money come and go, and incomes rise and fall, I have learned the power of saving to provide security through all seasons. Saving a nest egg provides for you during the inevitable ups and downs of the economy & life. When you save, you can handle emergencies, and you do not need to accrue debt, which destroys wealth & cash flow. You can cash flow everything!
The Egyptians & Babylonians saved grain in silos, helping to feed a community through lean times. What would you like to have saved for emergencies, for large purchases, for your retirement? Even if you plan to work into your elder years for your own enjoyment & life purpose, wouldn't you like to have choices about how you spend your time? Savings gives you more choice. During the 20th century employers helped to fund an employees retirement benefits. Now that is not the case. It is up to you to create wealth that will sustain you in your elder years.
Start saving now. Have a starter emergency fund of $1000. Pay off all debt. Have a fully-funded emergency fund of 3-6 months of expenses. Under $20,000 can be kept easily in a bank savings or money market account for emergencies & large purchases. When you accrue more than $20,000 you will want to look into longer term investing such as in mutual funds or real estate. Having a qualified investment advisor who can teach you about the different investment products is helpful.
"Live below your means and within your needs." ~Suze Orman
Who doesn't love to spend? But honestly, where does the pleasure end and the regret begin? Everyone has their saturation point, where the pursuit of "stuff" no longer gives a thrill. So what do you need to be satisfied & content? I believe the average American can be content with a lot smaller lifestyle than the media tells us. Back in 1950 the average house size was 1000 square feet, and people were happy. Now average home size is 1700 square feet, and are people happier as a result? I don't think so.
No, it's about contentment. Finding a way to be happy no matter how much discretionary income you have to spend on lifestyle. I found when I was getting out of debt I was happy with a little spending money for the occasional latte, or a dance exercise class. Now that we have much more income & "fun money", I find lots of extra spending money does not bring me happiness. What I really enjoy now is work that has purpose and meaning. Now that's fun!
So yes enjoy spending. But spend wisely. Get good bargains for your dollars, and spend your fun money on things that are truly meaningful. One area many folks overspend in lifestyle is housing. Your home, whether rented or mortgaged, should comprise between 25 and 35 percent of your take-home pay, no more. If you find you are spending half your income on housing, wake up! There will be little money left over for giving, saving or spending then. I recommend a down-grade.
True contentment comes from balance. I hope you feel inspired to Give, Save & Spend in a balanced way. Have fun balancing your budget and let us know how it goes!
. "Failure means a stripping away of the inessential." ~J.K. Rowling
My whole life, I was groomed for success. I was the "good kid" while my brother was the wild one, always doing what would make my parents happy. An oldest child of a family who valued education, I went right to college after high school. I rebelled a bit in my 20s by pursuing the arts, music & dance, without much financial success. But I returned to the people pleasing of my childhood by marrying a wealthy man and having children by the end of the decade. I built a successful small business in the healing arts & spiritual coaching in my 30s, and maintained a 5 bedroom house on 8 acres.
It seemed we had it all.
Then failure came along and changed my life.
The underpinnings of my marriage began to unravel....my business was mired in debt....our remote rural neighborhood couldn't support my business....and then I began the arduous, slow process of losing everything I had. With the help of my prosperity coach Toni Stone, I got the courage to let go of what was not working. I lost the marriage, and became a single mom. I lost many friends & clients when I moved from a rural neighborhood to a progressive town. Although I had always made good money, due to my debt load, and out of control spending, I could not afford to buy a home for myself and my children. And then my income itself began to disappear, and I faced real poverty as a working single mom.
But becoming poor was one of the best things that could have happened to me.
I began to look in the mirror and see what was really going on.
I discovered my people pleasing was actually a fault. When I took a Debtors Anonymous course, the common theme in myself that I discovered was "lying". I was "lying" in order to be loved. I took on debt, and spent more than I had, to please others, and appear wealthier than I actually was. A lot of my lifestyle was based on trying to make up for a deep insecurity.
I began to really grieve for the loss of the marriage, and to grieve for many pains that I had experienced in my life. Instead of masking my feelings, I began to speak them, and let people know when they hurt me. I woke up to how I was medicating my grief with purchases, and I stopped the out-of-control spending.
When I did the math, I saw I had wasted about $75,000 in "people-pleasing"!
I found another money coach named Dave Ramsey, and discovered that what I found so shameful is actually a cultural problem. He calls it "Keeping up with the Joneses". We all do it! We look at each other's social media feeds to see how great other people are doing, and compare ourselves negatively. And it's an empty shell game! Who was I really impressing with my large lifestyle? I realized that for years buying the newer car, the bigger house, the prettier clothes, etc. never brought me happiness. The folks I was trying to impress never stuck around.
And my true friends are with me no matter how much money I have.
That was a real shocker.
J.K. Rowling, who wrote the Harry Potter books, said of becoming a poor unemployed single mother: "Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way...I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies."
And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."
And so did I. I began to rebuild my life.
I no longer cared what other people thought. My own financial well-being was more important to me than what I looked like. I cut my budget drastically, rented out a room, and hustled in my business. I stopped going out. I stopped buying extravagant gifts for others. I paid off $20,000 in debt in one year, and saved an extra $20,000 the next year. I encouraged my boyfriend to do the same, and he paid off $20,000 in debt and saved an extra $40,000. We eventually bought a house for cash, funded our Roth IRAs, and cash-flowed our wedding & honeymoon. No one has praised us for this.
But it has pleased the one I really need to please: myself.
All of this came because I hit rock bottom.
So if you are facing debt, low income, unpaid bills, low-to-no savings, or financial failure of any kind, congratulations! It may be painful, but failure is nothing to be afraid of. Trying to pretend everything is fine, and continuing to drive yourself into debt, now that is a real danger.
Failure can be a blessing.
It just might lead you to a new beginning.
Coach. Teacher. Author. Speaker.